Only love is all maroon
Well, this is it then. I’ve been thinking about this day ever since primary school - not really dreading it though, just curious - and to be honest, I think I will have fun. NS will be a breeze. I just wanna get Gold for IPPT (400 bucks!!). I think 9:44 for 2.4 should be manageable in a few weeks’ time.
But sometimes, just sometimes, it’s times like these when I secretly wish that I might not have really met her.
Don’t take me wrong, I really am glad that we’re so close now and my life has really changed ever since, but I feel so vulnerable now. I will literally spend every waking moment thinking of her, wondering whether she’s fine, what she’s up to. And this will sound super clichéd, but I really do feel like I’ve given her a portion of my heart for her to keep - a portion which now never really belongs to me any longer.
I honestly think that I used to be quite alright alone. I only needed to depend on myself, and when things went rough, I’d tell myself to stop being a pussy and just do whatever I needed to do. But now… whenever I feel like giving up, I’d find myself thinking about her eyes and her lips and the scent of her hair
I don’t know why, but it feels wrong to wholly depend on something that’s not me. Something might just happen and well… I don’t know.
I fear that I’ll miss her too much, that thinking about her will make me feel more lonely than I might already feel.
But nah, I think I’m much stronger than that. I know everything will be fine. I hope so, at least.
Yeah, everything will be fine.
